Burn (A Poem and Short Story about a Goblin)

[GamerKale]

Burn
Burn light the spider light the horse light the dog
Burn bomb the spider slice the horse bite the dog
Burn make ship go boom
Burn go boom too

The Tale of Burn, The Boss of Big Fire
The most heinous of all crimes for a gob to commit is the taboo of writing. For as all gobs know writing steals the words from your head. The Licktoad tribe was unfortunate enough to have one such gob amongst their number, they of course exiled the unsavory gob and burned down his house. Before they set the place on fire the Licktoads found a stash of fireworks and a map which Chief Gutwad hoped would lead to more fireworks. So Chief selected four gobs to seek out these fireworks. The leader of this group was a gob with great big ears who liked to ride his gob dog, Rider. Helping Rider was a gob who could almost turn invisible, Sneak. Along with those two was a particularly big headed gob with a penchant for shooting things with his crossbow, Shooty. And lastly was Burn, a gob with big sharp pointy teeth and a love of lighting fires. Gutwad gave Sneak a ring, Rider an Elixer of Fire Breath, Shooty was loaned Gutward's personal very useful robe that is useful, and Burn got a Horsebane Dogslicer. Chief Gutwad also gave them some fireworks to aid in their endeavor, Burn being the most experienced with fire was given the fireworks.

The first obstacle to plague our brave heroic gobs was Lots Legs Eats Goblin Babies Many, a giant spider. Lots Legs jumped down from on high trying to eat Rider. Burn lit up a torch and charged up to bravely distract Lots Legs so that Rider could properly utilize his lance. Shooty and Sneak fired their crossbows, Sneak's shot struck Lots Legs and Shooty's became a snack for Burn. Lots Legs tried to run away and our heroic gobs ran him down at his lair.

The map led them to a ship surrounded by pallisade, and here they ran into their second true obstacle, an evil horse. Rider created a tow cable with his lance and rope, tripping it up while Sneak and Shooty tried to hit it with bolts, Burn ran up with his dogslicer and started chopping until the horse fell down, and then chopped some more. Our gobs climbed up onto the deck of the landlocked ship and they noticed a smoke stack rose out of the heart of the ship and Sneak had found a beehive lying nearby, so there was clearly only one course of action for Burn to take. Burn threw the beehive up and overshot the smokestack handidly, causing it to land on the other side of the deck and rousing two loathsome dogs that came running around either side of the cabin to bite Sneak and Burn. The other three gobs ganged up on one dog and Burn decided to show the dog how to really bite. When the dog tried to bite Burn a second time he decided he needed to teach the dog a real lesson so he took a vial of fire in each hand and smashed them into the dog's ears. Burn was caught in the ensuing explosion as well, this in and of itself wasn't the problem. It was when the fireworks he had on him went off a second later that things got out of hand. Part of the ship, the dog, and Burn were all caught in the ensuing explosion.

Burn was knocked quite unconscious and buried under a good deal of rubble. The other three gobs bravely faced down Vorka the goblin cannibal and her giant frog for the fireworks. When Burn came to, all four of them were back at the tribe with plenty of fireworks; Burn was named The Boss of Big Fire and married to the chief's daughter.