Blech.

[GyppyGirl2021]

Haven't been on these forums in damn near forever. I remembered that they existed thanks to checking my gmail and noticing that I got a PM in my dothackers inbox, and it looks like I might be staying for a little while.

As for why I'm posting a new thread? Meh, I feel like talking about random crap pertaining to everyday life. I've been pretty depressed lately, and while I know escapism is bad and all that, a lot of my depression issues stem from the fact that I can't stop thinking about things that don't even concern me at this stage in my life, and it seems like the only way to stop thinking about them is to distract myself somehow (via a game or whatever).

On the other hand, I'm going to be applying for college soon, so let's hope that goes over well.

I've been completely obsessed with BlazBlue for quite a while now, but I only got my PS3 and a copy of the game rather recently. I haven't played it that often either (cleared a few story modes, 100%ed a few, beat the true ending, occasionally go online to play with my friends), probably related to the fact that I'm not really "into" the fighting game genre as much as I am others. However, that doesn't seem to stop me from writing fanfics about it...

Also, Minecraft. Oh god, Minecraft. That game is like a black hole. It sucks you in and refuses to spit you out. I've probably logged hundreds of hours into Minecraft by now, if not more, and a good amount of that time was spent deleting my worlds and making new ones or just deleting the whole freaking game folder because I screwed up with a mod (it happens a LOT). Also, I can't seem to find a consistent SMP server, but this isn't the place to talk about that...

I've been having medical issues lately, too. I got a stomach flu about a month or two back and I've been having issues with that ever since. Finally got to the doc to get it checked out, but the process is pretty slow in going. I figure we'll get it fixed eventually, but for now, I just have to deal with it until we know what's wrong. Also, I had to have my toes fixed because of ingrown toenails, but I don't think there are a lot of people who really care or want to know about that

On the other end of things, I've become a lot more comfortable with voice chatting on Skype. Ever since my "e-bro" (I call him that, yeah) gave me his old headset, I've been calling him (and my other friends) and talking to them, mostly whenever we play BlazBlue together.

My real brother is married now, but he's also still living with us. And considering his significant other is essentially stress personified, it's pretty hard dealing with that. At least I can finally sorta sleep at night... my other brother (the adopted one, not the internet one) is going to be getting engaged soon, and to be honest, I like her a lot more than my real sister-in-law.

I'm also learning to sing the BlazBlue opening themes... okay, I think it's about time I stopped talking about that game. Sigh, when I get obsessive, I just can't stop. XD

Anyway, that sums up what's been going on since I left. It's probably not the most interesting or necessary of posts, but there were a lot of things I just wanted to get off my chest...

[Erranty]

Going by your name I'm gonna say you're a girl, so up front I'll just say, I may not be able to relate completely, but I'll try.

As far as that depression goes, its tough. Thinking about things and people that've long since passed is something everyone does. We always dwell on what we could have done but didn't, and we keep kicking ourselves for not trying harder. Even with situations we could do nothing about, and had nothing to do with.
But because of this, there are people who mistake sadness and mourning for depression. The truth is, its like waking up from a hard sleep, your body just wont move, you ave to summon up all the willpower you have in you just to move your fingers.

Sometimes in order to get over that you have to stop thinking of yourself and live life for the people around you. Feeling useful and wanted is the quickest way to overcome depression. It gives you purpose and meaning.

As far as the in-laws go. All you have to do is put on a façade of civility and treat them as you would a business partner. In truth that's what family really is.

As far as video games go, you should chose them carefully. Ones that you spend too much time on take over your life and keep you from getting things done, like your laundry. And one that make you yell at the screen will only cause stress and make you inadvertently lash out at something or someone. The only ones I really enjoy anymore are Co-op that require the skill of the player more than the skill of the character, like Borderlands or Monster Hunter.

But in truth, the time you spent on video games is better spent with friends or earning money. I should know, I've got over 1600 hours in monster hunter on just one character in the last couple years. Now that my PSP's been broken for nearly a year, I know just how much better going out with friends is.

And even though I go out with friends, take girls to big concerts, and general enjoy myself when I can; it all comes full circle. I end up remembering things long since passed, wondering if I should've done things like this earlier, if all this time I wasted could've changed the way things are now. But I don't let it get to me. If you can't change the past, live in the here and now. Don't live for the future because that future will always remain one step away, live life now.

[Kaori]

This video always cheer's me up with how gross it is:

[GyppyGirl2021]

Going by your name I'm gonna say you're a girl, so up front I'll just say, I may not be able to relate completely, but I'll try.

As far as that depression goes, its tough. Thinking about things and people that've long since passed is something everyone does. We always dwell on what we could have done but didn't, and we keep kicking ourselves for not trying harder. Even with situations we could do nothing about, and had nothing to do with.
But because of this, there are people who mistake sadness and mourning for depression. The truth is, its like waking up from a hard sleep, your body just wont move, you ave to summon up all the willpower you have in you just to move your fingers.

Sometimes in order to get over that you have to stop thinking of yourself and live life for the people around you. Feeling useful and wanted is the quickest way to overcome depression. It gives you purpose and meaning.

As far as the in-laws go. All you have to do is put on a façade of civility and treat them as you would a business partner. In truth that's what family really is.

As far as video games go, you should chose them carefully. Ones that you spend too much time on take over your life and keep you from getting things done, like your laundry. And one that make you yell at the screen will only cause stress and make you inadvertently lash out at something or someone. The only ones I really enjoy anymore are Co-op that require the skill of the player more than the skill of the character, like Borderlands or Monster Hunter.

But in truth, the time you spent on video games is better spent with friends or earning money. I should know, I've got over 1600 hours in monster hunter on just one character in the last couple years. Now that my PSP's been broken for nearly a year, I know just how much better going out with friends is.

And even though I go out with friends, take girls to big concerts, and general enjoy myself when I can; it all comes full circle. I end up remembering things long since passed, wondering if I should've done things like this earlier, if all this time I wasted could've changed the way things are now. But I don't let it get to me. If you can't change the past, live in the here and now. Don't live for the future because that future will always remain one step away, live life now.

I'm well aware that I can't really use my social anxiety disorder and obsessive tendencies as an excuse. It's hard for me to resocialize after all this time not really knowing people, but I'm making an honest effort to. It'll probably take a while, but I do intend to segue myself back into reality - for me, it seems like sudden changes always have a negative effect on me, which is probably why I'm depressed in the first place.

I try not to overtly express my frustration with my sister-in-law, although I'm kind of not averse to talking behind peoples' backs. I know it's a bad habit and that I should really stop it, but for me, it's the only way I can express how I feel without getting in trouble. I find it extremely difficult to keep my feelings bottled up for any length of time.

I've been taking non-credit college courses, and that is helping me a LOT, both with my untapped creativity and my social issues. I'm hoping I'll be able to get out into society again within a year.

[Erranty]

Social anxiety has some shortcuts. You can avoid talking unless its necessary, it may not be like directly dealing with the problem, but it lets you slowly get used to social situations through exposure to them. And 2nd, there's the realization that everyone feels flawed, so compliments about impersonal things can help get you friends quickly. Things like "Nice shirt." or "Your hair looks good today." can really go a long way despite being such depthless comments.

Expressing yourself is actually a good thing. Having someone you can talk to that'll keep your conversations to themselves is a necessity. Just remember to make it a conversation and not a rant, listen to advice they give. Decide whether to follow it or not based on the situation, but remember the cautious, logical approach is always the best one for situations where you want things to stay pleasant. (Though when going after love, hesitation and forethought are the worst things.)

College... Well, if its helping you with what you want its worth it. Just remember not to use it as a business strategy. All those recent "medical field specialists" fresh out of college are finding their job market overfilled because everyone had the same idea. Now they're left with a huge medical school debt when they're flipping burgers, if they can even manage to get THAT job. So the best thing is to go into what you want first. I know that sound contradictory to my comment about dealing with depression, but when it comes to jobs and school you have to do what you're interested in or its just gonna make you more depressed.

[GyppyGirl2021]

The primary reason I haven't gotten into college yet is because I haven't figured out where in life I want to go. (The secondary reason is because I don't like dealing with people, but I'm getting over that. XD)

I do rant too much... I'm trying to rein it in, but it's not an easy task. I have a lot of bad habits that are so ingrained that they'll probably take a long time to fix...

I can usually get along well with people at first, but then when they get to know me, that's when the love/hate thing starts to show. XD

[Kuukai]

I'm also learning to sing the BlazBlue opening themes... okay, I think it's about time I stopped talking about that game. Sigh, when I get obsessive, I just can't stop. XD

Kotoko-oke is amazing. Are you familiar with BluGeki? It's basically a giant commercial series done in puppet theater form that's better than many tv shows. And the commercial itself has commercials:
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/1314324360

I like Muppet Rachel a million times better than Actual Rachel.

[GyppyGirl2021]

I'm also learning to sing the BlazBlue opening themes... okay, I think it's about time I stopped talking about that game. Sigh, when I get obsessive, I just can't stop. XD

Kotoko-oke is amazing. Are you familiar with BluGeki? It's basically a giant commercial series done in puppet theater form that's better than many tv shows. And the commercial itself has commercials:
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/1314324360

I like Muppet Rachel a million times better than Actual Rachel.

Um, I don't get it. XD

[Kuukai]

"I knew I'd be bored. I wonder if anything out-of-the-ordinary will happen"

"Rachel-san!"

"Makoto, why are you in such a risque outfit?"

"I got it at Comiket!"

"You look just like a *CENSORED*, it's so pitiful."

Then they talk about going to TGS, and the text advertises all the awesome things that happen in BluGeki, like eyebeams and furries, and how it is a touching film that explores BlazBlue's characters' joy, anger, anger, anger, anger, anger, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.

The actual episodes are on niconico too but they're harder to understand if you don't know Japanese...

Fans are demanding they make a third episode with a Ragna puppet.

[GyppyGirl2021]

The actual episodes are on niconico too but they're harder to understand if you don't know Japanese...

This here is my problem xP

[LegendaryDarkKnight]

There is no key to happiness, the door is always open.

[Erranty]

There is no key to happiness, the door is always open.

And it leads to a room that's only filled with a tightrope overlooking a pit of spikes.