Things GU characters would NEVER SAY (Possible spoilers)

[Gemcrim]

*Kite enters an apartment wearing business attire*

Kite: This seems eerily familiar.

*He walks through a corridor hearing muffled sobs as he approaches his bedroom.

Upon reaching it he notices the door ajar. Kite slowly opens it to see Elk chained

and gagged to his bed with tears rolling down his cheeks and Orca on top of the
smaller boy.*

Kite: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE ORCA! WHY?! WHY WHY WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO
THIS TO ME AGAIN?!

Orca: The reactions from both of you are priceless and you have no actual way to
resist my charms? By which I mean my god-powers. By which I mean I will slit your throat while you sleep if you attempt to kick me out of the house?

*Kite rushes to Elk and undoes the straps on his gag.*

Kite: Give me the keys to his hand cuffs Orca.

*Orca tosses them over to Kite who quickly releases Elk form the rest of his bonds.*

Kite: Now get out.

Orca: Nope.

Kite: Get out now!

Orca: Nooooope :3 We must quest for the Epitaph of Twilight! Or read a book named Twilight.

Kite: Fine, you can stay, but if there’s ever a movie adaption I’m not letting you watch it!

*end flashback*

Kite: And that is why we’re not going.

*Elk and Orca dressed in matching T-Shirts with the cover of Twilight on them *

Orca: Oh.

Elk: Did you notice how quickly you ignored me that time when that book was mentioned?

Kite: Shut up Elk.



Orca: Yep, I sure do love my Latino lover.

Kite: I’m Japanese. AND WE’RE NOT DATING!

Orca: Oh I can listen to that “Spanish ” gibberish come out of your sweet mouth all day long.

Kite: GRAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!

Orca: Ay yai yai.

Kite: *fuming and slowly calming down* …Okay… tell me something.

Orca: I’ll tell you what you wanna hear… and make my girlfriend disappear.
Kite: Thanks… I forgot what I wanted to ask. Fine then new question… have you ever even touched woman?

Orca: Have YOU?!

Kite: Yeah… Blackrose and then you… took her… away *begins sobbing*

Orca: Yes! Not only are you on the verge of crying, you’ve also proven that I have indeed touched a woman. Today has been amazing so far!


Orca: So what's on the agenda today, Elk-clone?

Tsukasa: Why am I being written in here again… I don’t wanna be here.

Orca: Oh you’ll be here… and queer. But if you really feel like leaving…

*Tsukasa begins to float in the air. After being suspended around five feet a yellow beam of light engulfs her, disintegrating most of her clothing. All the while she begs and pleads for this to stop screaming for anyone to help her until the beam of light fades away and Tsukasa falls to the floor, picking herself up and sitting down with her knees hugged to her chest, shivering and staring into space soon afterward.*

Orca: That probably wasn’t me, I blame Elk for this. You know this probably would be a good time to tell Tsukasa I brought his/her girlfriend over.

Tsukasa: *hops onto her feet again as if nothing happened*Really!?

Orca: No… Yes!


Later


Orca: Alright you five year old girl! Here she is!

*Subaru is on the floor tied up and blindfolded with bruises all over her body her legs bandaged up and blood dripping from her forehead. Tsukasa jumps at Orca scratching and beating him, in response Orca pins her down.*

Orca: Why does everyone assume that I would be the one to do horrible things? And don’t answer that, I know what the answer is. …look I found her like this in a back alley.

Tsukasa: Then why wouldn’t you help her?

Orca: Because I only help those who help themselves, that’s what it means to be a true asshole. Or some hypocritical twat who’s selfish when they’re doing well but the very moment they lose something they beg and plead for aid conveniently forgetting the beliefs they once held. *Picks self up and pulls Tsukasa up with him*

Tsukasa: You’re so selfish. *bends down to Subaru to undo the knots and blindfold that were binding her.* Since when were her legs broken?

Orca: I thought she was always like that.

Tsukasa: We’re using our game avatars.

Orca: Well… this is something that must be answered… if Kite and Elk ever get back home.

*Elsewhere in a back alley.*

Elk: Why are we out here at 3 AM?

Kite: Apparently we’re on the search for Tsukasa’s OTHER genetalia… that or just a convenient excuse for us to leave the house.

Elk: Why didn’t you bring Blackrose with us?

Kite: Because she said the same thing she told me when we broke up.

Elk: Which was?

Kite: “I already have a *****, I don’t need another one.”

[Erranty]

Atoli: THERE'S SUGAR IN MY A**!!!!

[iuliathe3rd]

Atoli: THERE'S SUGAR IN MY A**!!!!

Okay, so I lawled at that...

[twilight_keeper]

Ovan: Oh crap... I forgot about that part

[nobodyknows]

Khun: EARTH!
Yata: FIRE!
Atoli: WIND!
pi: WATER!
Endrance: HEART!
all of them in unison: GOOOO PLANET!!

Haseo: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAAAAIN PLANET!!!

[Kaoshima]

Khun: EARTH!
Yata: FIRE!
Atoli: WIND!
pi: WATER!
Endrance: HEART!
all of them in unison: GOOOO PLANET!!

Haseo: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAAAAIN PLANET!!!

I lul'd

[twilight_keeper]

Khun: EARTH!
Yata: FIRE!
Atoli: WIND!
pi: WATER!
Endrance: HEART!
all of them in unison: GOOOO PLANET!!

Haseo: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAAAAIN PLANET!!!

Wow... except Endrance WOULD say heart LOLZ

[Kaoshima]

This has probably been done already but here goes...

Kuhn: "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!"

[Twilisapien]

endrance: oh haseoo, you are the one that saved me, you are forever in my heart

haseo:....why the heck are you talking like that TALK NORMAL stop sighing your voice, speak correctly, plus that was really gay , start again but this time imagine im from 4chan and be more assertive


endrance: sup im endrance gtfo n00b


haseo: now you got it


endrance: this is fun haseooo <3

haseo: >.>

endrance: <.<

haseo: -.-

endrance: i mean hrm, do a barrel roll

haseo: dont mess up that r wing


---------

shino: afk, dinner.... for a while
alkaid: afk, mom calling... for a while
atoli: brb mormons at the door


haseo: NUUU i must save them

-----------


haseo's memories come back: WOAH HOLY CRAP!

ovan: what?

haseo: i just felt this surge go through my head... heh for some reason i feel a little hoppity!

ovan: (i didnt know he could be this annoying)

[twilight_keeper]

Haseo: That's it Ovan! I'll kill you dead! Then I'll kill you some more!

Ovan: *sigh* if you do that then there's no point in you doing anything at all...

Haseo: ...what?

Ovan: You heard me b**** kill me fo' real!

[xthform22]

haseo:YOU BASTARD OVAN IM GONNA KILL YOU

ovan:kill before its too late haseo

haseo:ARAAHHH (starts charging then stops) but wait if i kill you then youll just respawn in the root town...

ovan:...

haseo:...

ovan:yeeee i geuss youre right haseo... i geuss youre right...(runs away screaming then jumps off a cliff)

[Kaoshima]

Haseo: hey /x/, my friends keep going into comas from playing this MMO, is this paranormal?

[Twilisapien]

ovan and shino: this guilds purpose is to find the key of the twilight


haseo: dude just google that bish

[nobodyknows]

yata: I just wanted to be black.. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

(note: It's not meant to be offensive. At all. If you take offence, please tell me and I'll delete this post double quick *nods*)

[twilight_keeper]

Bo: Oh yeah Saku? FINE! You can keep this character! I'm making my OWN!

[Ratsu]

Bo: Oh yeah Saku? FINE! You can keep this character! I'm making my OWN!

( Should have happened.)

*Haseo turning into Skeith*
Haseo: BAN-KAI!

XD

[twilight_keeper]

Bo: Oh yeah Saku? FINE! You can keep this character! I'm making my OWN!

( Should have happened.)

*Haseo turning into Skeith*
Haseo: BAN-KAI!

XD

Totally.

Piros the 3rd: Hi friend my name is Piros, nice to meet you.

[maggosh]

Piros the 3rd: Hi friend my name is Piros, nice to meet you.

I think you won.

[Gemcrim]

Tsukasa: You know who I haven't seen in a while?

Orca: Shouldn't you be tending to... I forgot her name and it's probably not important. Who?

Tsukasa: Balmung.

Orca: Ah yes! I remember Balmung, I remember him so well I drew a picture of him. See?! *hands Tsukasa a piece of paper*

Tsukasa: Huh... *stares at the drawing* I really didn't think you were into that.

Orca: I'm not... I'm not into "that." A cryptic "that" which can be interpreted as homosexuality or crossdressing. I'll tell you what I am into... Kite rule 63! Wait, have you even met Balmung?

Tsukasa: Well...

*Grayscale flashback*

An Shoji: Hey you, person whom I’ve never met before yet am talking to without reason, and now that I have I can’t escape this awkward conversation where I’m extremely out of character when in truth everything that I’ve been doing and have ever thought of is out of character, at this point I’m just unable to escape this terribly long sentence and I just want to die. … what are you playing?

Bal McMungerton: A game… (I can’t believe someone would name me that D: )

An: What kind of game?

Mung de Balfor: (Why did my name change?) The kind for people whose parents didn't toss them out in the rubbish.

An: Oh… well… I’m just gonna have a flashback in black and white. AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!

Feather Fag: That’s nice…

An: *recalls being pulled out to the school yard by several girls, pushed into the mud as they pulled her hair, kicked her in the face several times giving her a black eye a bloody nose and several bruises, they continued until one kick connected to her teeth. Two girls then pushed her to a wall and slammed her head against it then proceeding to bash her body and face with their fists and a baseball bat, more bruises appearing all about her body. Throughout this abuse An struggled but failed to escape any of the other girls' grasp. One girl then brandished a knife and sliced An’s shirt open and another group of girls grabbed her hips and pulled down her-*

Tsukasa: I don’t want to remember the rest…

Orca: Kay. *is now slightly shorter, much more slender and curvy, face somewhat softened, and has breasts that he’s barely able to hold and cover with one arm*

Tsukasa: … I’m going upstairs.

[xthform22]

(haseo fighting endrence in teh arena w atoli and piros the 3d)

everyone:lets do this

endrance:ahhh this will be easy wait uh.... mia whered you goo dont leave me

(mia starts attaking piros and scratching his face)

Piros 3d: aww cute kitty good girl

endrance:no mia dont leave me i love you i will die without u...