The Dating Market

[nuhkuhl]

Once again, SPC-173, you have annoyed me with your comments. I'll leave it to you to figure out why you have abused my nerves this time; think of it as a lesson in critical thinking.

Ugh, I have fallen for the bait. Anyway, just gonna put this out there right of the back: I hate this topic in regards to the whole alpha-omega shtick. It's dumb on so many levels and so hilariously backwards. This is 2013, not the Stone Age, so the fact that so many people (mostly 'bro' and 'reject-bro' characters) still ever refer to this system is bothersome. There is nothing 'omega' about someone who doesn't have sex just as there isn't anything 'alpha' about shagging it up with numerous individuals. Humans aren't wolves- we don't live in a pack society that determines who gets access to all the sexy goodies. We're a bit more evolved and emotionally complex then that.

And now for a rant... and it is a rant laced with personal feelings and philosophy so make of that what you will. Please read the upcoming text wall in a monotone voice seeing as my thoughts were as such.

A momentary comment on the system itself: The described 'Omegas' often aren't having sex because they simply don't want to exert the necessary amount of energy and work it takes to build up a relationship- it isn't because they CAN'T get women- they're just lazy or merely ignorant of proper courting rituals most of the time. Which is okay. Nobody HAS to get laid. There is no written law that condemns celibacy. 'Alpha' types are basically male whores- call a spade a spade. They're not 'pack leaders' (such as an alpha wolf would be)- they're merely whores. And that's okay. What I'm getting at is it is intensely irritating to hear the term 'alpha' used for a male slut. How many people an individual sleeps with or decides NOT to sleep with is the choice of that individual. Finally, in my personal experience, the described 'Beta' types often exhibit the dreadful 'White Knight' syndrome and are irritating to be around for that reason. Protip: nobody should claim to be a Beta just because it is seemingly more neutral and free of criticism then the Alpha and Omega terms...and there are a lot of males who flock to the Beta label for that very reason without taking the time to thinking about it too much.

That said, yeah, you're being sexist, Erranty, but probably not for the reason you think. Your analysis on female types is sexist in the sense that it is so much more detailed and laced with negative connotation then what you provided for your male version. Granted, this is probably because you spend more time analyzing females as opposed to both sexes (I presume you are heterosexual- forgive me if I am mistaken) and it is human nature to cue on negatives so as to avoid them in the future. I don't hold it against you but your examples do suggest you are more aware of and possibly judgmental against girls in their sexual escapades or lack thereof then you are with males. Again, it's human nature to cue in on negatives; it's typical- both men and women do it.

Moving on, all three of these established types are so reductionist and painful to even comment on...but whatever. There are so many types of men in the world- to narrow down the sexual spectrum to just three classifications is ridiculous. It is sexist against the male populous (let's face it- women have the luxury of not having to listen to this alpha-omega drivel very often) and ultimately hurts potential emotional growth. 'Alpha' tends to be looked at as a positive while 'Omega' is not. Some men like to have multiple partners- and some men don't. Some guys like to sometimes have multiple partners but then be monogamous later on (or before). None of these are wrong or right. They just are. People are just people. Everybody has their reasons for being the way they are. By ascribing terms such as 'alpha' one can gain or loose confidence in one's self....self esteem can be destroyed in this process. Ultimately, why does any of it matter? Just do what (or whom) you want, provided no one gets hurt in the process, and don't worry what other people think of you. Alphas, Betas, Omegas, et cetera, are just silly terms meant to put down people and shove them into boxes with labels that don't mean a chicken wing.

This classification system isn't scientific but it damn well is outdated. There is no 'right way to win' when it comes to this caveman game. Just...ignore it and be yourself.

[shugo_lover]

Once again, SPC-173, you have annoyed me with your comments. I'll leave it to you to figure out why you have abused my nerves this time; think of it as a lesson in critical thinking.

Ugh, I have fallen for the bait. Anyway, just gonna put this out there right of the back: I hate this topic in regards to the whole alpha-omega shtick. It's dumb on so many levels and so hilariously backwards. This is 2013, not the Stone Age, so the fact that so many people (mostly 'bro' and 'reject-bro' characters) still ever refer to this system is bothersome. There is nothing 'omega' about someone who doesn't have sex just as there isn't anything 'alpha' about shagging it up with numerous individuals. Humans aren't wolves- we don't live in a pack society that determines who gets access to all the sexy goodies. We're a bit more evolved and emotionally complex then that.

And now for a rant... and it is a rant laced with personal feelings and philosophy so make of that what you will. Please read the upcoming text wall in a monotone voice seeing as my thoughts were as such.

A momentary comment on the system itself: The described 'Omegas' often aren't having sex because they simply don't want to exert the necessary amount of energy and work it takes to build up a relationship- it isn't because they CAN'T get women- they're just lazy or merely ignorant of proper courting rituals most of the time. Which is okay. Nobody HAS to get laid. There is no written law that condemns celibacy. 'Alpha' types are basically male whores- call a spade a spade. They're not 'pack leaders' (such as an alpha wolf would be)- they're merely whores. And that's okay. What I'm getting at is it is intensely irritating to hear the term 'alpha' used for a male slut. How many people an individual sleeps with or decides NOT to sleep with is the choice of that individual. Finally, in my personal experience, the described 'Beta' types often exhibit the dreadful 'White Knight' syndrome and are irritating to be around for that reason. Protip: nobody should claim to be a Beta just because it is seemingly more neutral and free of criticism then the Alpha and Omega terms...and there are a lot of males who flock to the Beta label for that very reason without taking the time to thinking about it too much.

That said, yeah, you're being sexist, Erranty, but probably not for the reason you think. Your analysis on female types is sexist in the sense that it is so much more detailed and laced with negative connotation then what you provided for your male version. Granted, this is probably because you spend more time analyzing females as opposed to both sexes (I presume you are heterosexual- forgive me if I am mistaken) and it is human nature to cue on negatives so as to avoid them in the future. I don't hold it against you but your examples do suggest you are more aware of and possibly judgmental against girls in their sexual escapades or lack thereof then you are with males. Again, it's human nature to cue in on negatives; it's typical- both men and women do it.

Moving on, all three of these established types are so reductionist and painful to even comment on...but whatever. There are so many types of men in the world- to narrow down the sexual spectrum to just three classifications is ridiculous. It is sexist against the male populous (let's face it- women have the luxury of not having to listen to this alpha-omega drivel very often) and ultimately hurts potential emotional growth. 'Alpha' tends to be looked at as a positive while 'Omega' is not. Some men like to have multiple partners- and some men don't. Some guys like to sometimes have multiple partners but then be monogamous later on (or before). None of these are wrong or right. They just are. People are just people. Everybody has their reasons for being the way they are. By ascribing terms such as 'alpha' one can gain or loose confidence in one's self....self esteem can be destroyed in this process. Ultimately, why does any of it matter? Just do what (or whom) you want, provided no one gets hurt in the process, and don't worry what other people think of you. Alphas, Betas, Omegas, et cetera, are just silly terms meant to put down people and shove them into boxes with labels that don't mean a chicken wing.

This classification system isn't scientific but it damn well is outdated. There is no 'right way to win' when it comes to this caveman game. Just...ignore it and be yourself.

I think you just explain everything that I wanted to say perfectly.

Leave it to an admin to post. THE LONGEST POST IN HISTORY. Congradulations.

Why do you have to have a sarcastic remark about everything?

i refer to as a sexy muffin top u3u lol

I've never heard a guy say that they've had a muffin top before loll

"geeky" guys might prefer a night of gaming than a night of partying, but that doesn't mean they can't be social

That is so true! My boyfriend isn't really a geek but he plays video games and what not and doesn't like parties but he is that most social person I've ever met. He constantly wants to go and do things. If either of us were to be considered a shut in it would be me >.< As I've heard one of his friends say before.

[zaseo]

@OP may I ask how old you are? While I agree that only taking care of oneself seems awesome, and is a completely logical thing to do, there are a lot of people with a sort of instinct- usually called the biological clock- to reproduce. Usually, in males, this instinct to reproduce hits them when they're in their 30s. Heck, I knew guys in their midtwenties who broke up with their girlfriends because they wanted kids and the girlfriend didn't.

I'm 19. I likely won't ever "win" in the dating market so I have opted out of it and not returning. A life of abstinence isn't bad. I produce less but also consume very little. As long as I have a good place to stay, Internet, video games, manga/anime, and the basics of life I'm happy. I have a minimalist lifestyle. Of course I make sure to save resources here and there for the future if anything ever were to happen. I'm not into things like going to clubs, drinking, or smoking. I would be considered an Omega or Zeta male.

[TheSorrow]

I'm 19. I likely won't ever "win" in the dating market so I have opted out of it and not returning. A life of abstinence isn't bad. I produce less but also consume very little. As long as I have a good place to stay, Internet, video games, manga/anime, and the basics of life I'm happy. I have a minimalist lifestyle. Of course I make sure to save resources here and there for the future if anything ever were to happen. I'm not into things like going to clubs, drinking, or smoking. I would be considered an Omega or Zeta male.

You know, there is no such thing as a "dating market". We're not just random walking experiments thrown into a sandbox to see who "wins" and who "loses", and the point in life isn't to become the most "efficient" by producing and consuming just what you require with no other needs...you're talking about yourself like if you were a machine, an emotionless thing that simply thinks about efficency and logic process but incapable of anything else.
I once went through a similar state of mind...thinking i didn't really need anyone or anything around me, and that i could simply live on my own and get just what i need for my videogames and the stuff i like, disregarding all kinds of human relationships. But eventually i realized that you just can't live without human connection...we're humans after all, not lizards. And sure, you're a free man and you're able to live out your life the way you feel is right, and no one should tell you how to live...but, if the reason why you want to live through such lifestyle is because you "lost" on the "dating market" and this is the best you can achieve for your life, then you're wrong. VERY WRONG. Read nuhkhul's post, and you'll see that there is no real alpha/beta/omega, and there's not any "market" where such alpha take over and such omega live alone forever. It all comes down to what you really want, what you're willing to sacrifice for that, and what you're not willing to lose.

And yeah, i entirely agree with what nuhkhul said. He might've been more direct in his rant than i was, directly calling such alpha/omega thing as stupid and outdated while i referred to it them as inaccurate stereotypes, but in the end we speak of the same thing and the core meaning of our rambles is the same: the alpha/omega thing doesn't apply for us, and we as humans are capable to do and choose much more things in our lives than simply what those things dictate.

In less serious replies o3o...

I've never heard a guy say that they've had a muffin top before loll

It IS a muffin top though, there's no other way to describe it u3u I mean, i'm not fat, my stomach doesn't have a round shape, my arms and legs are thin, and you can perfectly identify my neck and my ankles. I just have some extra stuffing at the sides in an otherwise-even body. Like a muffin indeed D: lol

We are well aware that TheSorrow needs cliff notes sometimes.

What's a cliff note? 8D
...
No, i seriously don't know u3u
But i can imagine they're the proper way to refer to those tl;dr notes, so you can just read the main point of my rambles instead of having to read through them all. That'd take the fun out of my rambles though ;C lol

[zaseo]

I'm 19. I likely won't ever "win" in the dating market so I have opted out of it and not returning. A life of abstinence isn't bad. I produce less but also consume very little. As long as I have a good place to stay, Internet, video games, manga/anime, and the basics of life I'm happy. I have a minimalist lifestyle. Of course I make sure to save resources here and there for the future if anything ever were to happen. I'm not into things like going to clubs, drinking, or smoking. I would be considered an Omega or Zeta male.

You know, there is no such thing as a "dating market". We're not just random walking experiments thrown into a sandbox to see who "wins" and who "loses", and the point in life isn't to become the most "efficient" by producing and consuming just what you require with no other needs...you're talking about yourself like if you were a machine, an emotionless thing that simply thinks about efficency and logic process but incapable of anything else.
I once went through a similar state of mind...thinking i didn't really need anyone or anything around me, and that i could simply live on my own and get just what i need for my videogames and the stuff i like, disregarding all kinds of human relationships. But eventually i realized that you just can't live without human connection...we're humans after all, not lizards. And sure, you're a free man and you're able to live out your life the way you feel is right, and no one should tell you how to live...but, if the reason why you want to live through such lifestyle is because you "lost" on the "dating market" and this is the best you can achieve for your life, then you're wrong. VERY WRONG. Read nuhkhul's post, and you'll see that there is no real alpha/beta/omega, and there's not any "market" where such alpha take over and such omega live alone forever. It all comes down to what you really want, what you're willing to sacrifice for that, and what you're not willing to lose.

And yeah, i entirely agree with what nuhkhul said. He might've been more direct in his rant than i was, directly calling such alpha/omega thing as stupid and outdated while i referred to it them as inaccurate stereotypes, but in the end we speak of the same thing and the core meaning of our rambles is the same: the alpha/omega thing doesn't apply for us, and we as humans are capable to do and choose much more things in our lives than simply what those things dictate.

Well I do have friends but love relationships isn't much of a possibility with me. I do think things like Briffault's Law and the Pareto principle for certain things. If anything I feel like I've won by not playing and only producing much to self sustain.

[nuhkuhl]

@zaseo: I highly doubt your chances for finding a mate is as low as you say. As I hinted above, there are many men who feel they can't get women but ultimately it isn't because they 'can't' - it's because they don't actively want to put in the effort it takes to build a relationship- which is hard work to say the least. Perhaps unconsciously (or consciously- I don't know what your true feelings are) you do not wish to date but feel you have to justify this to others. This is an unfortunate byproduct of a hyper-sexualized society. If you do indeed not wish to date, that is perfectly fine and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone- you are not abnormal in anyway. I'm not quite sure I follow how the Pareto Principle factors into your feelings of not being eligible for sexual love but in regards to Briffault's Law, that is perhaps a little defeatist of you. Assuming you put in the time and effort, you can find a mate- I'm not going to tell you every woman will be available- all women, like men, have different tastes and personalities. Some will like you, others won't. Just play it cool. You're 19...you're practically a baby in the dating pool. You have so much time to figure out both who you are and what you would like in a significant other. But don't sweat it- take your time to learn. Who knows? Dating, romance, or even casual sex may not be your thing in the end- it isn't for many people. Whichever route you choose is fine just as long as you have a healthy attitude about it and are truly at peace with whatever you yourself choose to do in life. Your choices, your life. Don't let established perceived biological or societal 'norms' get in your way.

[SCP-173]

I know ill never win at the dating heirarchy. I work at the scp foundation. I'm surrounded by a numper of messed up stuf. If I took my girlfriend to work. She would either die or if she survived she would never speak to me again fo showing her all these things.

[Furie]

@zaseo: I am in complete agreement with nuhkuhl. As s/he (?) said, you're young still. Have a positive attitude. If you don't want to date, that's fine, but if you actually do want to date, but feel like you can't, you need to buck up and work for it.

[zaseo]

I going to choose the grass eater/Soshokukei Danshi route.

[SCP-173]

Could you explain to me what the grass eater route is?

[zaseo]

Could you explain to me what the grass eater route is?

A grass eater/Herbivore men/Soshokukei Danshi in Japan is basically a male who focus more on their life but don't care for traditional gender roles. This is a big trend with Japanese males. Grass eaters trend to like a lot anime/manga, friends with females but don't have sex(even if they were in bed next to a girl), stays inside a lot, and are heterosexual.

There are plenty of articles about it. There is many opinions about the trend. I give these guys credit for defining their own manhood.

[SCP-173]

Just watched the video and I must say its a very interesting change. Me personally care about material stufflike sex and money. But I'm not really an alpha. I like to be loyal to a woman and show her my love. Not just "hump and dump". You know what I'm sayin?

[Furie]

Hm. Interesting video. Mind if I ask if you're Japanese? In the US, we call that lifestyle metrosexual, though whether metrosexuals are interested in sex is up to the individual.

[shikiaki]

I know that this is an old post... But it's just very interesting to read this.

I'm married so... By looking at the Erranty's class of females (because I am one).
I would say that I was a Sigma due to traumatic events but I wasn't a full Sigma (I always had 1 partner but just had to move to new locations and cut off ties with the previous ones and they were not long relationships either)... So I would then say I would be a Beta. But I do have a lot of guy friends but not sexually. I always have one partner and I stick with one partner.

Now that I am married, I am sticking with that one partner and I am happy. But then again. I've only been married for over a year and a half and been with the guy before hand for three months and friends before hand for one. Still happy.

Me and my other half want to have kids and raise them well.

I honestly don't like stereotypes because sometimes there are mixes in people's lives that cause then to become one or the other. I wonder if I am making sense or just babbling on about my own life.