dothackers.net

I know this has absolutly nothing to do with DotHack or DotHackers, but I feel like since I have something in common with you folks that maybe I could get some good advice here.
A little over a year ago I was in a cosplay skit group with a few people. Well we won an award in the contest for being the fan favorites. Well after that one of the girls in the group said we should do another skit and I was all for it. So trying to be helpful and nice I used my knowledge of the theatre and wrote a simple script with stage direction and everything. The girl who said we should do the second skit took it all the wrong way and thought I was handing her the script and telling her that that script was set in stone andw as the way we'd do things. She then accused me of being a selfish bossy self centers b****, when all I did was say "Here this could be an option for the skit." Now she does nothing but bosses hre other friends around and tells them if they talk to me she will hate them forever and I guess their all afraid fo her that they don't question her a single bit.
This whole time I've been trying to explain that I didn't mean it to be taken as a "set in stone" kind of way but a helpful start that could be altered and changed to best fit the groups wants and needs. I've also been trying to act very mature and civil towards her when I run into her at conventions and what not, but she acts like a snob and treats me very coldly. She won't tell me why she refuses to let it go.
While at a convention this past weekend I was in a Death Match as Balmung and when I died my friend over heard her say "I'm glad she lost." When she herself was killed a few matches before me. She keeps telling people that I am a huge b**** and that bosses people around and makes people do what I want.
I just don't know what my next step should be. I've tried everyting I know and even when I send nice emails asking her how she is she tells me to f off. I don't understand why she can't drop what happened and move on in life and let her friends that want to talk to me talk to me. So does anyone have any advice on what I should do next?

first of all i would censor the B**** word out. and second. Girls are weird. to be honest, by what you have said i would just stay away, and also i would look at how you might ave come across, as in some people dont quite respond well to being cocky, but in saying that, life isn't over. chin up and continue on!

and advice dont send emails as it can also come off a bit creepy. it is up to her to justify the way your friendship should be.

Opps I'm use to sites that auto filter those words.

I'm not sure how handing someone in person a written skit idea and saying it's an option and telling here maybe you can use this as an option ar a starting point. Or how offering your knowledge of actual playwriting and stage acting leads one ot think of someone as Cocky. I'd see it as someone contributing to the group and making something just a tiny bit easier.
I've talked to others who know her and they have told that she thinks she is the only one in the world who can write skits and that things need ot be her way or she will through a tantrum. I'm sure why people put up with her if they know she it like that it is beyond me. I've also hear that she is jealous of me because of how fast I got over it and how there are lots of people who like me and support me. I'm nit sure if maybe thats the reason, because if she is jealous that all these people like me then she's just as welcome to be my friend still I don't mind.
I just don't see labeling someone in such away just because you wanted something your way and couldn't talk it out as an adult to be a sign of a very childish person and I am sure she doens't want to called childish all her life because she cna't over something like this.
I myself am a girl, but I still find some other girls very hard to understand.

Weird people are weird...
I jsut got a friend request on Facebook from the person who appeared to hate me. I'm going to accept the request and start the bridge to a civil friendship.
I hope this turns out well.

You might have said something that gave her the wrong impression. Either that or I guess she has a toxic personality that one would hope your mutual friends are mature enough to ignore. I'd say just salvage the people who are positive and move on with life. Just forget about her. It's been a year. Anyone that matters isn't going to care what she says about you if it's obviously not true. Avoid things that suck, that's my policy and it's led to a pretty happy life so far...

Edit: Or.. that. That's random.

I've been around girls like that before. They really only do it for 1 of 2 reasons, they either have a crush on you... (kinda hard to see since you're a girl too, but weirder things have happened between cosplayers) or its a jealousy thing where she confessed to a guy and he said he liked YOU and not HER.

I only really think this because one of my ex's was EXACTLY the same way, a little drama crazy, always into whatever guy was new, had lingering feelings for all her ex's that never went away.

You're probably gonna have to pull her aside, alone, even if you have to drag her by the arm, and talk to her without giving her an option to get away from you. If not, there's always getting a committee member of whatever conventions you cosplay at to be your boyfriend and telling him everything, chances are he'll put her on a short leash that'll get her kicked out on the slightest infraction.

FFR wrote:Opps I'm use to sites that auto filter those words.

I'm not sure how handing someone in person a written skit idea and saying it's an option and telling here maybe you can use this as an option ar a starting point. Or how offering your knowledge of actual playwriting and stage acting leads one ot think of someone as Cocky. I'd see it as someone contributing to the group and making something just a tiny bit easier.
I've talked to others who know her and they have told that she thinks she is the only one in the world who can write skits and that things need ot be her way or she will through a tantrum

ok that just confirmed it wasn't cocky, as it can be as simple as a the way you acted as your self.... this does not seem to be the case.

FFR wrote:Weird people are weird...
I jsut got a friend request on Facebook from the person who appeared to hate me. I'm going to accept the request and start the bridge to a civil friendship.
I hope this turns out well.

my guess she is in these forums as well from such a quick response. just go easy let her do it on her own terms... as you know how some girls can be.

to us guys on the forums, we will all agree we are lost when it comes to females, the first mistake is to try and follow what is going on and try to understand. hence why we generally have a lot of female friends and no partner to speak of.... in those cases, we have feelings for 1 or 2 of them, but they miss those signals all together... but hay that is the facts of life.

Well it's no impossible for her to have a crush on me. I know she likes girl and I myself like girls. Infact before all this drama started she and I were in a cosplay skit together and we actually kissed as part of the skit and it wasn't until after that that she started acting this way. Maybe she thought there was a spark between us and is infact jealous that I am engaged, but who really knows.
I don't think she is on this site I don't thinks he even knwos what DotHack is. I do know that her friend had talked to my fiance at the pervous convention so perhaps her friend talked her into tlaking to me again.

just try to let her cool down, not everybody can hold on to a grudge forever.

FFR wrote:Well it's no impossible for her to have a crush on me. I know she likes girl and I myself like girls. Infact before all this drama started she and I were in a cosplay skit together and we actually kissed as part of the skit and it wasn't until after that that she started acting this way. Maybe she thought there was a spark between us and is infact jealous that I am engaged, but who really knows.
I don't think she is on this site I don't thinks he even knows what DotHack is. I do know that her friend had talked to my fiance at the previous convention so perhaps her friend talked her into talking to me again.

Okay, I was just safely dancing around the whole girl on girl stuff, but now that I know it's gotten that far I'm certain its about that. She found out about your engagement and felt betrayed, maybe even a little annoyed with herself for not making a move sooner. You may not realize it, but you played with her heart, and you're gonna have to help her come to terms with everything that's going on. You can always try to friend-zone her, but if she's too stubborn about it you're either gonna have to break off all contact or develop a relationship, and that can either be hectic with you already having a fiance, or it'll turn into a polyamorous relationship which I'm guessing you won't be comfortable with.

I don't know why she'd feel betrayed since I've been with my fiance for 8 years now. Long before i even met this girl. She knew about our engagement even when we kissed.
Another girl I know wanted me to break it off with my fiance and date her. I swear some of the girls younger then me are just plain crazy.
I'll be sure to pull her off to the side and tlak to her alone next time I see her. I just hope she can just let whatever it is go and just stay frineds with me.
If it is that I hurt her due to my engagement then I'll feel alittle bit bad about since well I never like to see others hurt and really don't like to see it when I hurt people even if it is a misunderstanding.

well, i don't know if someone said this yet but, you can just simply tell her to surpass it, then hang out with your friends normally, and if she makes such a thing mentioned earlier by you(the thing about hating them forever) tell them just to ignore her and get a new friend, and if that doesn't solves anything, you can get new friends, and like you don't mind about them, if you hang out with prettier girls than her, she might get jealous and maybe she'll say "sorry", if that doesn't works... err umm.... well, if you want you can PM me for details or something like that you don't wanna spread in public

FFR wrote:I don't know why she'd feel betrayed since I've been with my fiance for 8 years now. Long before i even met this girl. She knew about our engagement even when we kissed.
Another girl I know wanted me to break it off with my fiance and date her. I swear some of the girls younger then me are just plain crazy.
I'll be sure to pull her off to the side and tlak to her alone next time I see her. I just hope she can just let whatever it is go and just stay frineds with me.
If it is that I hurt her due to my engagement then I'll feel alittle bit bad about since well I never like to see others hurt and really don't like to see it when I hurt people even if it is a misunderstanding.

Hey, I tried to get my ex-girlfriend to break up from her fiance when I loved her, after multiple attempts though I just decided to go talk to her, she was honest when she said she loved him and well I knew I had to let her go, to make sure nothing bad happens I trailed her fiance and kept my motorbike helmet on and slightly adjusted my voice and threatened to break his legs if he ever allowed her to be harmed , she'll see it sooner or later just like I did, if not try to talk to her directly, if she still refuses to listen then let her come to you, either way both of you should talk it over.

Yeah, like Kaori said. But if this goes down an all too familiar path, there will be drama again later anyway. So it may be best just to let her make up her mind about things and not get involved in her life after you two have a talk. But I'll let you decide on that one since you know the girl better.

Okay im getting a little confused now are you bisex or just kissed once. Not meant to be offensive.

Pansexual actually and no offense taken. I've been with other girls as well as guys. I'm attracted to personality rather then gender or appearance.

nobodyknows wrote:I'd give my two cents, but it looks like I really don't need to.
You're in good hands as far as advice is concerned, FFR.

Also, welcome to the Off-Topic boards.

If only AuraTwilight were here. She'd... Well you know.

Erranty wrote:

nobodyknows wrote:I'd give my two cents, but it looks like I really don't need to.
You're in good hands as far as advice is concerned, FFR.

Also, welcome to the Off-Topic boards.

If only AuraTwilight were here. She'd... Well you know.

She's an exceptional case.

nobodyknows wrote:

Erranty wrote:

nobodyknows wrote:I'd give my two cents, but it looks like I really don't need to.
You're in good hands as far as advice is concerned, FFR.

Also, welcome to the Off-Topic boards.

If only AuraTwilight were here. She'd... Well you know.

She's an exceptional case.

I swear, its like she'd constantly troll us while giving us proper information and good advice. It was an art.