RL issues aside (hopefully) I can finally sit back an get back ta doing this! Since alot of the things I posted about last time remained the same in this new version, I'ma figure nothin' was really wrong with 'em an just stick to things that are still definitely wrong, along with new oddities which have popped up!
->v0.2.2<-
•
Link
02
http://i.minus.com/ibyibH0BvFo5nZ.jpg - wouldn't this maybe be "I was" an not "you were"?
http://i.minus.com/ibt1YAw0lCgRHa.jpg - this still seems weird
http://i.minus.com/iyUpMks5SB6KT.jpg - courage not cougage!
•
SIGN
01
http://i.minus.com/iW1KSc1mQPWUK.jpg - should be "You can buy and sell various items"
http://i.minus.com/iDb3it9SAQMDN.jpg - "what it that?" ?
http://i.minus.com/iuErIDL4GTha4.jpg - "that kid we spoke to" only Mimiru spoke to Tsukasa so replace the "we" with "you"
02
http://i.minus.com/iCFC7glJaEKWl.jpg - this lines still all stretched out
http://i.minus.com/ighERV4cHfSUb.jpg - as is this one along with not making sense
03
http://i.minus.com/iNHDIEmsWogHK.jpg - that if should be an of
04
http://i.minus.com/ipAmNvCmiBPm1.jpg - needs to be changed to Saika
06
http://i.minus.com/iq9FYviYjAmhO.jpg - since everyones going there couldn't it be "If we go there, we should learn something."?
http://i.minus.com/i6nTeszx9a6wZ.jpg - the Sigma symbol oughta be used here not the Lambda one, since Mimiru says Sigma and it even uses the Sigma symbol in the unpatched/umd text
http://i.minus.com/i4pp4GWM5KyWD.jpg - its the opposite at this point. Tsukasa got no reason to return to reality!
http://i.minus.com/i3cBG3v14yMOM.jpg - still confused on this one. is he talking about Tsukasa which they don't know the whereabouts of, or should "he" be "we"?
http://i.minus.com/if7PiHkwbJD72.jpg - lil misspelling of Tsukasa's name here
07
http://i.minus.com/iIsGHKCpLk6tZ.jpg - could "you were" also fit better as "she was"?
08
http://i.minus.com/iNhTO0UuMuTR4.jpg - still say this is supposed ta be the other way around
http://i.minus.com/iig37nQLTKkih.jpg - text cutoff!
http://i.minus.com/iDHlQzHwRMNYc.jpg - it may just be me reading it wrong, but virtually every line Crim has in this chapter makes almost no sense
http://i.minus.com/ib2200gBMbFZcA.jpg - ???
09
http://i.minus.com/ibyaTyOkbtAgVG.jpg - would "saw" fit better than "see" here?
http://i.minus.com/ip33etKskWQjy.jpg - who'd he give these orders to exactly o.o?
http://i.minus.com/iltcWAZfNfpUV.jpg - isn't that the yen symbol? how the heck'd that there?
http://i.minus.com/ibj5SQaCA9N3gf.jpg - second line dialogue seem weird
http://i.minus.com/iDz0zugLrA0wV.jpg - aside from "you will relive the past" sounding weird "restore" is missing its S!
http://i.minus.com/iwRJYFT017WuA.jpg - this seems like abit of strange grammar
10
http://i.minus.com/ibuNLwM7Mdp2JO.jpg - "You can run, but who will you call?"
http://i.minus.com/ibwDjFWfKtdKzY.jpg - Crims lines at the end here might be referencing the wrong person? Subaru's the one who shoulders burdens but in the previous line he said Tsukasa so in this one the him/his stuff should be her
•
.hack
02
http://i.minus.com/irWNot1ReoHgH.jpg - "well" may be better as "we'll"?
http://i.minus.com/ibqzsHky69zA15.jpg - this lines kinda messy. could be rewrote as "I have a request for the person to whom Aura gave the bracelet. I want you to save her."
http://i.minus.com/iIgmQdF14F2eR.jpg - Aura wasn't given the bracelet she gave it
http://i.minus.com/iCEogpKzKggqd.jpg - doesn't he know this? idk. this just seems off somehow.
04
http://i.minus.com/i8OCrFhR6KDZ8.jpg - thats a weird way to start a conversation!
http://i.minus.com/iW6WcbTohhJSk.jpg - an this seems like a weird way to continue it!
05
http://i.minus.com/ibpk48dRTtUJ5K.jpg - whaaat? is Tokio personally involved in the plot? hows he related to anyones troubles?
http://i.minus.com/i2IuDxqLc3Sy8.jpg - looks like Gardenia's name got typo'd here
http://i.minus.com/iOPRiLmZRp6Dq.jpg - "Moonstone can be a little quiet, but if you become friends he can talk a lot." may be a better fit?
http://i.minus.com/iv636qSxSWYsg.jpg - is this "how" supposed to be a "now"?
http://i.minus.com/ixWP6ZBUu5Oh9.jpg - not sure how to take this. "I don't know what's happening now..."? "I don't know what will happen next..."?
06
http://i.minus.com/iixdekpQgsH2j.jpg - maybe this could be "...Hm? Someone's approaching from behind us?"
http://i.minus.com/iulIs8Kgrs6Bg.jpg - "If you're coming, let's go!" ??
http://i.minus.com/ib1W42IYJai9dU.jpg - "shrewd" seems like an odd word to use here, at least to me anyway
07
http://i.minus.com/ibsK3BRfMbZcr.jpg - wondering who "they" is?
http://i.minus.com/iLgv6YNXUDhfG.jpg - what
http://i.minus.com/iAEKHbeFDnyQO.jpg - Helba caused this?
http://i.minus.com/ivklXYh855wdQ.jpg - the "we" seems outta place here
http://i.minus.com/iGzs4nTO451nu.jpg - the second line feels like it should be something different
http://i.minus.com/i4TOHtO4ee51W.jpg - "once you know." ?
http://i.minus.com/ioijbEiv2XuRL.jpg - lil confused on what this means. his statue was returned to 2020? wasn't it always there?
•
Misc
http://i.minus.com/iIDILLTPi7eKb.jpg - still dunno what "the usual" is all about
http://i.minus.com/ixW22p2q5iXgw.jpg - not Ganesha?
http://i.minus.com/if4VraWUQWk9y.jpg - Sleipner!
http://i.minus.com/ig1Y9OXz13jJD.jpg - "Ruined" hasn't been changed ta "Relic" yet
http://i.minus.com/iRBEjKEKzFEs1.jpg - whats this Grit Your Teeth description mean? I'm not clear on what it does or how it works, plus some of its cutoff
http://i.minus.com/iFRrBEiJEYogd.jpg - maybe this could be "Convert Virus Cores to Rank Up and buy Items"
->v0.2.3<-
•
Roots
02
http://i.minus.com/iEymFSdX8gwIY.jpg - unless Haseo's trying ta sound cool here, wouldn't it be "she takes command"?
http://i.minus.com/iBFIdsGh0p7Pe.jpg - what is it?
http://i.minus.com/iXR0EciYB7i9P.jpg - Tokio's already been to the @HOME so what's he on about?
08
http://i.minus.com/ibi9sWhlDBqqS4.jpg - this'd sound better as "and the others have gone" or "and the others be"
http://i.minus.com/ibaReYS6YhlGs6.jpg - could be shortened to "Let's look in Mac Anu's main square where many people gather."
http://i.minus.com/i93Wt9JzA0qjq.jpg - sounds odd given that the town was just shot up!
http://i.minus.com/iLKuAs6TSvVRE.jpg - who let who escape?
09
http://i.minus.com/iuvPCUMXLZViP.jpg - instead of "no" shouldn't it be "a"?
12
http://i.minus.com/ibpOZYVOrwOCsm.jpg - should "Say" be "Says"?
http://i.minus.com/inlCm31snjTb0.jpg - not getting the "are you okay with that" unless this bit came out like "A surprising deed for a PKK... I'd like to see it. Would that be okay?"
13
http://i.minus.com/i3AY05PQIJKdK.jpg - is this Bordeaux weaseling her way outta a fight by like saying she doesn't want to fight 3 on 1 against Kuhn?
14
http://i.minus.com/ib18X3YeQLsEBA.jpg - "of glowing" oughta be "is glowing" right?
•
G.U.
02
http://i.minus.com/ifecCJ7jaOlCW.jpg - thinking the second "You" is meant ta be an "I"
04
http://i.minus.com/iVUJjcwpSDjls.jpg - this whole conversation is just ???
http://i.minus.com/iPYZcHjiNgemb.jpg - "And" should be "An" ?
http://i.minus.com/i4K6GoGjbvXVV.jpg - is Klarinette thinking/speaking to herself about Tokio here?
07
http://i.minus.com/irffhRhKMWstn.jpg - lil typo having an extra "n" in Dol Dona
http://i.minus.com/ibn5p4jfi7W5Gl.jpg - confusing? in Rebirth they use "irritating" which seems like a better fit. the lines there are "Damn you're so irritating! Don't show your face again!" dunno if its accurate to whats said/written in Link though
09
http://i.minus.com/ifVfoXlz7NKjC.jpg - looks like the "is" and "it" are backwards
http://i.minus.com/iko5TQZbIxd8D.jpg - thinking "know" should either be "knew" or "knows"
11
http://i.minus.com/iEzvRX0KeHhKO.jpg - tokio's always in partys! I get haseo's joking with him but given the circumstance might this line be more like "this is your first time in the arena? don't pull a muscle"?
19
http://i.minus.com/ibdYUGTK3OAtmy.jpg - Gaspards the one that gives us the area words sooo ??
•
Link
06
http://i.minus.com/ibzoH66OacqY8W.jpg - "So we can't afford to lose to you here."
10
http://i.minus.com/ijBztV4SDTLZ3.jpg - they're supposed to be going to the area klarinette told them about
11
http://i.minus.com/ibrqV9xELyzFcX.jpg - not super sure what the first lines all about
http://i.minus.com/ibwYIVJf0UNGXC.jpg - maybe I missed the context but I dun get this
http://i.minus.com/i0ckbAAI3IHFA.jpg - gotta replace the "I" with an "A"
http://i.minus.com/i6gE86xF4kyza.jpg - think "...It's settled down..." would sound better
14
http://i.minus.com/ibx5cN9Rdi5nCX.jpg - cheated each other or used each other?
15
http://i.minus.com/ib12MAUppxAuGe.jpg - prolly should be "The place is..."
17
http://i.minus.com/ibvGmZPwpMzKDt.jpg - if he wants to examine them shouldn't he be the one keeping 'em?
http://i.minus.com/iiHP7Dg2lDKlO.jpg - again this item name glitches out and prematurely ends the scene despite there being more dialogue afterwards in the unpatched version of the game
•
Epitaph of Twilight
01
http://i.minus.com/ibh84YOdNBXSAs.jpg - Subaru? I don't think she's got anything to do with this?
http://i.minus.com/iTK3bAHov05kH.jpg - same line, different languages?
•
ZERO
03
http://i.minus.com/iePb0Oo3xabK6.jpg - random "V" capitalization?
05
http://i.minus.com/iblJM7OYlvIeqc.jpg - is she talking to herself here? if so the "you" works in context. if not it should prolly be changed to "he"
http://i.minus.com/iBgs8ljv1KBpx.jpg - she has some apologizing to Alph to do so should the "he" here be an "I"?
•
Liminality
01
http://i.minus.com/ib1n92pyob2kcy.jpg - I dun get the first line here since afterwards Ryoko says she doesn't know Minase.
http://i.minus.com/iFSHOKlnKzBIL.jpg - is this supposed to be "you're looking for a blade brandier"?
http://i.minus.com/iYV9JtF6czSx1.jpg - if she told Sieg where to go whys she looking for him?
•
Legend of the Twilight
03
http://i.minus.com/ibuBulw9xdNmyi.jpg - should be past tense so "Zefie was glowing..." would work
http://i.minus.com/iblLoGzJ343xrj.jpg - guessing this is missing a "know"
•
Alcor
02
http://i.minus.com/i3mBb3zDgYzEY.jpg - guessing at the context here but if its what I think it is then "...Alkaid said that." feels like it'd be better than "it"
•
Cell
01
http://i.minus.com/ifOGoMxkCcZ6A.jpg - I think this speaks for itself in how confusing it sounds
http://i.minus.com/iYhbrn4dyde4K.jpg - if the second line came first an the first came second it'd make alot more sense
http://i.minus.com/i0kl0fHI3YBjR.jpg - huh what indeed
•
Returner
01
http://i.minus.com/ibuSr3lp1ggcw.jpg - Sakisaka was already at Coite-Bodher so maybe the first line could be "Sakisaka is waiting for us at the destination."
•
XXXX
01
http://i.minus.com/ismQ6tIGg7mRs.jpg - its a good thing kites right there then!
http://i.minus.com/il4ixLGL3Adtt.jpg - I spy a stray hiragana in there!
•
X'over
12
http://i.minus.com/irZ2QucHxHu6V.jpg - "This is a strange misunderstanding! This flower isn't a gift for someone!" proll along the line of how this should go?
•
Other
http://i.minus.com/iUk2hnCMAELJh.jpg - now it should stop o.o?
http://i.minus.com/iYDuVEtNZ11c9.jpg - start the movement?
http://i.minus.com/i2ztGWCk3YzVL.jpg - this could use an abbreviation like ascension whirlwind got. can't even see how much SP is uses!
http://i.minus.com/iXE6i56KYhnB6.jpg - zuh?
http://i.minus.com/i7yBBUtxxvfRu.jpg - should this be changed to Main Square since thats what its always called in the dialogue?
http://i.minus.com/i0nJBfLikaYty.jpg - replace? wouldn't purchase or buy be a better fit?
http://i.minus.com/inHPfKJkve0a3.jpg - "Please select the person you want to use this item on." would sound more natural
http://i.minus.com/ieJzeiGNCWK6X.jpg - oh no the descriptions to long!
http://i.minus.com/iBd0rtWtXwPn0.jpg - what's with the "normal"? couldn't it just be "1st" and "Xth" or "1st Form" and "Xth Form"?
http://i.minus.com/ijtsBXi9pmRrq.jpg - I feel like the "is" in the first line is unnecessary
http://i.minus.com/ibtjt2xkvqONJV.jpg - oh no the descriptions to long! pt.2
http://minus.com/i/b08Vg57hHVCsa - oh no the descriptions to long! pt.3
http://i.minus.com/iAoHjISUY6EE0.jpg - this is just a mess!
http://i.minus.com/iXihBzjkvD3Uz.jpg - same here