The One Who Walks Alone (An elfen Lied Poem) Criticism Welco

[Azalan]

When I first opened my eyes I wondered where I was
With joy I looked around the room I was in
I was awake at last

A metal mask covered my face
making the room I was in seem like a gloomy place
I saw the faces of many people all around me

These people looked at me with fear
not talking to me no, not once. No kind words did I hear.
never any friends was I allowed

even though by appearance I was as innocent as they come
my eyes were pink my hair was red my complexion that of perfection
I was let out of my confinements for a short while each day

only to be experimented on like prey
at first I was happy to be out of my wrappings and chains
until I saw the light of the day

the truth was then revealed to me when I was tortured
that I could never fit into human culture
even though my appearance was similar to that of a human

I just had to be cursed with two cat ear like horns
A Diclonious they called me
a monster that was never capable of love

I would love to be normal and have different circumstances
in a place where I would be accepted
A place where I would not be hated because of what I am

after months of torture I finally gave in
to the killing instincts that were in my blood
Using my hand-like vectors I finally lashed out

ripping those that had experimented on me to shreds
as their bodies exploded I watched wondering if the end result could have been different
I always wondered if they would have treated me differently if I was not born a Diclonious

I don't like killing humans but I have to think of my safety
As inviting as it seems death is not what I want for my destiny
I want to live and explore the "outside world"

Leaving that laboratory I searched all over
for a place where people would have me
but none would take me in

they all looked at me with fear
only because I had horns
those cursed things are why they pushed me away

So I traveled to place after place
doing what I can to prove I could live with humans
wanting more than anything a family that would love me

A chance at normal life
the thing that I have always dreamed of
this however is always just out of my grasp

I am the one that is destined to walk alone
Alone for all of my days
with my vectors being my only friends

Sadness
the feeling of being empty
Always I will be Alone

Alone...
Alone...

[Dark Blade]

A Rather Epic Elfen Lied poem. There is only one line out of the whole thing that bothers me "I just had to be cursed with two cat ear like horns". Perhaps think of a way to reword this.

Also I like how you worked in the only friends being the Vectors (invisible hands to those not in the know).

[Celes]

you did it??
i think this is pretty good at all

[Azalan]

Yup! i wrote the poem.