.hack//retake

[fatgaspard]

haseo: yata`s calling me better go take a dump on his porch

atoli: come on I told you what my character mean`s tell me your`s or i`ll pk you
haseo:wha-!! :vomit:
atoli: now like I said please tell me (leg lifting higher between haseo`s leg`s kicking him in the ballls ) what (higher) your (higher) character (higher) means god dammit
haseo: me and shino have a child and if it was a boy it was going to be haseo
atoli: you loved that son of a b***h how dare you!
haseo: so much for the arena

rena: big brother, big brother, big brother!, Big Brother!, just do me ok
shugo: RENA!!! I will fufil that promise... I SWEAR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS-lJcf7Neo starting at 1:12

balmung:kamui
kamui: lord balmung
balmung: kamui!
kamui: what i`m full tonight but we have a discount on saturday
balmung: deal i`ll be over then 

[Alkaid_loves_Haseo]

Wow. That was funny, and as far as I know, you didn't break any rules.

[fatgaspard]

sanjuro: mirellle, hataru, go help shugo recover his sp
hataru:do you even know what sp is
sanjuro: (damn my one weakness, uh, uh,...) sac palla
gang: HA HA HA ba****d! he dosen`t even know what sp stands for, HA HA HA!
monster:heh, heh, heh, even I know that and i was just created...
sanjuro: shugo now data drain it
shugo: dd! why isn`t the braclet working sanjuro?!
sanjuro: say data drain!
shugo: apparently... thi... gume i ahh chewin... i rea stica... and
hataru:(under breath) ba***d, Data Drain!

[Alkaid_loves_Haseo]

Lol. Not knowing about SP was hillarous. Sanjuro is the type to be like that and not even know. He's kind of like a muscle head, anyways. Lol.

[SilabuZZZ]

LOL..That`s funny KEEP IT UP!

[fatgaspard]

alkaid: (character fading ) don`t cry haseo, boy`s don`t cry do they
haseo: uh ya they do
alkaid: (character stops fading) WHAT DO YOU MEAN!! IF THEY DON`T CRY THEN WHY AM I GOING THOUGH THIS **** THEN!!
haseo: except...
alkaid: EXCEPT WHEN?!?!
haseo: except when you you give them tity twisters
alkaid: (gives haseo a tity twister) (character starts to fade away) good bye haseo
haseo: AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!
(crying: dammit that **** is as good as dead)

piros the 3rd: Slow Doberman, Peanuts the third
(elephant walks by) elephant: ohh! a peanut!, I`M HUNGY
piros the third: ahh! the first time I say it wrong an elephant is near by!

[Alkaid_loves_Haseo]

OMG! Rofl. The Alkaid part was freakin hillarous! XD Keep it up!

[fatgaspard]

party members-atoli, anteras
(at the end of battle)
anteras: honey bring me some more liquor
atoli: haseo excuse me I must do something i the real world for a sec, ok
haseo: alright
haseo: hey anteras (hear's a familiar voice behind anteras microphone)
(behind anterases microphone)
???: here you go
anteras: thanks honey
atoli: i`m back
haseo:
atoli: what haseo
haseo: uhh...uhhh...
atoli: what, oh anteras, we met on the suicide website
(haseo takes atoli off party lst and leves the area, then go`s to canard and only goes out when death grunty says atoli is off-line)
atoli: what didn`t he serch my wiki on the internet

ovan: haseo, thats why you have to destroy me!
haseo: ok!
( pulls out gaspard like a braod sword and aims his ass at ovan put`s a lighter near his ass)
haseo: SAVATAGE!!! (gaspard blows his horn)
ovan: AAHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haseo: job well done gaspard
gaspard: thanks I had beans for breakfast

(people can make retakes to)

[kururusoft]

When other animes join "The World"

1:Ichigo Kurosaki
Ichigo: Cool, I still get a good sword.
Haseo:Hi.
Ichigo:Britney Spears!!!
Haseo:Just cause I show my stomach like her doesn't mean I'm her.
Rukia:I studied this Britney Spears and my conclusion was... that you are her son.
Haseo:WTF???

2:Naruto
Naruto:What??? I can't be a ninja!
Atoli:You could be a macabre dancer.
Naruto:Okay!
Atoli:No, uh!
Naruto:WTF??? Why do I have a fan???
Atoli:Sorry, I meant Twin Blade.
Naruto:I so girly
Sasuke:Hey you, girl you're a hot macabre dancer, wanna join my party?

3:Edward Elric
Ed:I wonder if I can use alchemy?
Kuhn:You look like the twin blade kind of type.
Ed:Okay.
Kuhn:Oh, Death Grunty can alchemize stuff!
*Ed goes to Death Grunty*
Death Grunty:Give me your weapon! Oink!
*Breaks weapon*
Ed:Now this is a time where I REALLY need alchemy.

4:Alphonse Elric
Al:What? I'm still a metal head!
Piros the 3rd:Your a Lord Partizan, like me! I'm the slow doberman.
Al:I'm a metal head, heres a gay guy, and I:m stuck here with Ed! Life suck!

5:Rurouni Kenshin
Kenshin:Ah, a world that I can realx and kill. How, great!
Pker:I will PK you!
Kenshin:Cool!
Pker:No, that's bad.
Kenshin:No it isn't! Your a PMer after all!
Haseo *Kill Pker* "He's was going to Player Kill you bastard!
Kenshin:Oh... I thought it was a Pmer, party massager.

6:Spongebob
Spongebob:Ah, to the water.
Haseo:You can't.
Spongebob:But if I don't I'll... *Dies*
Haseo:Bastard

7:Konata from Lucky Star
Konata:Ohh... This looks like a fun MMORPG. Tsukasa, Kagami, Miyuki let's go compete in the arena.
Miyuki:I'll watch.
*at the arena*
Konata:Vs Team Haseo
Haseo:Prepare to die.
Konata *Punch Punch Kick Slice Boom*
Haseo:Ow!!! I'm telling my mom on you!
Gaspard:Haha! Kagami looks ugly!
Kagami:You trying to pick a fight! *BAM BAM BAM*
Gaspard:You popped my fat!
Silabus:Tsukasa I don't want any trouble, I'm just here for fun.
Tsukasa:That's great! Now eat fan! *Throws fan at Silabus*
Silabus:Ow... but tasty!
Announcer:Team Konata wins!
Haseo:Damn we suck ass...

8:Haruhi Suzumiya
Haruhi:Yeah a virtual game where everyones a weirdo freak!
Crowd:Get her!
*everyone PKs Haruhi*
Haruhi:Tough crowd.

[fatgaspard]

it`s my first other post so i`ll keep it but the point of .hack retake is to change what they say for example

in gu vol.1

atoli: tell me your character i told you mine
haseo: ehh...

but instead

atoli: tell me what your character means or i`ll pk you
haseo: wha-!! :vomit:

get the point

[Saku is Evil]

LOL funny :b keep it up

[fatgaspard]

Waiting in the locker room at the arena \

(Atoli calls haseo's phone in real life)

Atoli: Um... haseo
Haseo: Don't worry, i'll make sure
Alkaid: Hey, whats with the eye contact?
Haseo: Let's go
(Alkaid goes to the warp point and warps)
Haseo: Let's do this
Atoli: OH BOY!^-^
(In the arena)
Announcer: Now here comes the champion Team Haseo with Alkaid, Ha-! Where is he Alkaid?
Alkaid: Huh? Oh he probily got sidetracked in the real world before he warped in, LOL. I'll go check in the locker room.
(Back in the locker room)
Alkaid: Haseo everyone's waiting for you and-! O M F G!
(Haseo and Atoli are making out)
Atoli: !
Haseo: Alkaid this is not what it looks like. Me and-!
Alkaid: Let me join!
( At that moment Alkaid get's ready to join and then a big fat gurth comes from under Alkaid's stomach)
Haseo:
Atoli:
Alkaid: What!, CCorp let me have a fat character in diguse, pretty cool huh?
(Haseo turns into skeith and Atoli turns into innis and they data drain Alkaid)
Alkaid: UH!
Haseo: Come on! Lets go Atoli!

[Saku is Evil]

WARNING:may contain spoiler for .hack//G.U. vol. 2
While Haseo is fighting Ovan...

Ovan: Haseo,this is the true Tri-Edge you have been searching for!
(instead of Ovan banging Haseo around with his weird arm,Ovan picks his nose and sticks a gigantic buger on Haseo)
Haseo:
Ovan:What,you didn't like the gigantic buger I gave you?
Haseo: Hell no!If i had wanted a buger i would've picked my own nose!
Ovan:Oh,sorry about that.
Haseo:What? you're sorry? Don't you know how rare this armor is?It cost me a fortune! And now it's wasted!
Ovan:I said i'm sorry!
Haseo:Oh,the heck with you!I'm going back to town!

[fatgaspard]

LOL that was halarious ! Thank you.

[Saku is Evil]

Haseo:Ovan,where were you when the Twilight Brigade broke up?

Ovan:Oh.I was making even more cheese sandwiches in my oven arm!
Want a cheese sandwhich?

Haseo:Why would I want a cheese sandwhich?They are the crappiest
kind of sandwhich a person could get!

Ovan:Suit yourself.
*Millions of cheese sandwhiches burst out of his arm*

Haseo: Alright!Cut it out with you're crap!

Ovan:(*acts like a granny*)Ohhhhh!You're sooooo cute!I wish I
could just squeez you're cheeks!They looks so adorable with those
red marks all over them!

Haseo:I said cut the crap!Are you a granny in real life?

Ovan:oh yes I am!Now let me squeez those adorable cheeks!!
(*squeezes Haseo's cheeks*)

Haseo:So I have been talking to a granny all this time?

(*Ovan still squeezing Haseo's cheeks*)

Haseo:Would you stop that?!(*warps*)

Ovan:I guess he has never delt with a granny before lol.

[fatgaspard]

Tabby: Am I annoying Sakisaka, am I?
Sakisaka: No
Tabby: Hey what did you go and say tha-! I'm not?
Sakisaka: No Tabby. I love you so much that read deep in your profile to find your address and I am going to pick you up tonight at 7, oh babe!
Tabby: YOU STALK!
(Later in the day Tabby trys to PK Sakisaka but fails and goes comatose)
(Sakisaka pulls off the Sakisaka costume)
Azure Kite: 1 down 3 to go

[azureeagle]

( After everyone defeats Cubia and at The Cathedral, instead of only Atoli warping in Alkaid does too.)
Atoli: Hey Haseo, umm.. do you want to go out with me?
Alkaid: No he's going out with me!
Atoli: No he's going with me!
* Both of them get into a **** fight.*
Director: Hey cut it out! This wasn't in the script!
Director: Haseo, Endrance, Do something!
Haseo: Cool a **** fight! I call 25 bucks on Atoli!
Endrance: I call 50 bucks on Alkaid!
Director: Oh they're hopeless...

[fatgaspard]

(Thanks someone else finally )

(Damn now its a spoiler)

(While going to "The Door" in roots, the virus core glows green)
Ovan: pretty light, I'm hungry, AAHHH!
Shino: Ovan don't!
(To late. Ovan turns into Hulk with his weird AIDA arm)
Haseo: OH CRAP!
Hulvan: Shino marry me!
Shino: Hulvan I...
Gang: DON'T DO IT! HE'S GAY!
Shino: Oh. I didn't know. RIP DUK!
(Then hulvan turns into Ovan)
Ovan: I'm back. What'd I miss
Gang: Um..Uh..But..You
Ovan: Oh me being hungry, I left the keyboard for a sec.
((I know Yata doesn't come til after but))
(In the Serpent of Lore)
Yata: This is an weird develepment to AIDA

[Saku is Evil]

fatgaspard,where do you get this weird crap?
Some of it is really getting weird.^-^
OKAY IT'S TIME TO GIVE UP ON //retake!!!!

[fatgaspard]

1 last post

Haseo: I am not EMO!!
Ovan: Yes you are Haseo.
(Turns Evil)
Ovan: Show me your your cutting skills an DESTROY ME!
Shino: May I join you low-life b*****d
Ovan: Sure... AS LONG AS YOU DESTROY ME!
Haseo & Shino: EMO PEOPLE! UNITE!
Ovan: Thank you... UGH! *Dies*
Haseo & Shino: YAY! EMO PEOPLE!